Some Things Are Scary

What is it that is so scary about this view?

Looking up at this light, each light bulb like the eye of a monster staring down at me, I grip the arm rests on either side of my chair with white knuckles. Just sitting in the dentist's chair reminds me of the screeching, threatening sound of the drill as it makes its way towards my mouth. I cringe and wince and tighten my muscles as I attempt to dissolve into the seat.

Okay, perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic with my description, but the feeling is real. I really, really, really do not enjoy going to the dentist. The sounds and smells and florescent lights invoke in me a fear and anxiety that I rarely feel in any other situation.

During each visit, I dread the moment when they take my blood pressure and then inquire, "Is your blood pressure usually this high?" No ma'am, that's just extreme discomfort pulsing through my veins. 

During my visit yesterday, I casually mentioned that coming to the dentist scares me. Not surprisingly, the dental hygienist shared that many of her patients feel the same way. She nodded her head knowingly and padded me a few times on the shoulder.

When it came time for the doctor to numb my gums and start all the torture cleaning and fixing, the same dental hygienist asked if I'd like some headphones to listen to music while they demolished worked on my mouth. Oh my goodness. Why hadn't I ever thought of this before? Music calms the soul and eases the mind. Duh. Of course I'd like some headphones! I told her that I thought the headphones were a great idea, and she shared that they'd started offering them to help ease their patients' anxieties.

(That's my scared face. Can you tell?)

This got me thinking.

That lovely dental hygienist excelled at her job because she had anticipated her patient's emotions and reactions and come up with a way to de-escalate the situation.

This is what teachers do for their learners. We get to know them and understand their worries and fears and trepidations. We know what they've been through and how those experiences may trigger reactions from them in the future. We anticipate their fears, and we find ways to help them through them. We offer strategies and tools, or we modify the situation to lessen the intensity of their fears.

Anticipating their fears and offering them guidance that will de-escalate the situation doesn't always come naturally though, and it's not always easy. It requires that we be contemplative and purposeful in our practice, and that we spend time reflecting on the lives of our learners.

There's a picture book by Florence Perry Heide that I just love. It's called Some Things Are Scary, and each page illustrates a few different scary things. Some of my favorites from the book include:

• Getting hugged by someone you don't like is scary.
• Stepping on something squishy in your bare feet is scary. 
• Being with your mother when she can't remember where she parked the car is scary. 
• Thinking, "What if you'd been born a hippopotamus?" is scary. 
• Brushing your teeth with something you thought was toothpaste, but it isn't, is scary. 

I giggle to myself each time I read this story, and I've read it lots of time. 

If you sat down and thought about the students' that are in your class right now, could you write your own version of this book based on their fears? From the more simple fears like, "Realizing you forgot your lunch money.. for the fifth day in a row is scary," to the more serious ones like, "Wondering whether your Dad will come home tonight is scary." I think it's something worth thinking about.

Further, how can we better anticipate the way their fears may affect them and lead them through it with support and care? What kind of headphones, so to speak, can we offer them?